Their is a bit of a trend on social media for people to post their "best" side on facebook and such. The happy family pictures, the smiling couples, the beautifully decorated room are the norm. We never or rarely see the cranky children, fighting couples or the completely messed up and dirty rooms - unless it is funny and worth sharing.
While I am not an advocate of airing everything publicly, I do try to be wary of how things "look" on social media and recognize that no one's life is perfect. I promised in this blog that I would be honest and I have been, but I also have portrayed the "best" of me during this time of transition. While trying to look to the positive and move on, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit to my self - doubt, anger, sadness, rejection, retaliation, and fear.
All of these emotions are normal and it is important to go through them. Just as I move through one emotion and think I have moved on, boom - there it is back again.
Sometimes an emotion can hit you out of nowhere. Yesterday my husband and I were bringing a load of coats and clothes to the local St. Vincent DePaul.
As we were dropping off our excess items I noticed it was pantry day - the day people pick up food for their family. Their were close to 20 people lined up outside in the bitter cold waiting to get their groceries for the week. I am not immune to a sight like this. I have helped at Dorthy Day, Sharing and Caring Hands and helped in various ways in giving to those in need. The difference then was that I was giving from a secure place of knowing I had a secure job and income. Now things felt uncertain.
Later that afternoon we went grocery shopping and as I was choosing the items off the shelf at the grocery store I couldn't get the image of these people in line for food out of my mind - then panic hit me. While we are not in any immediate financial need, the uncertainty of my situation came over me in a wave of fear. There but for the grace of God as they say... I suddenly started worrying about how long I might be unemployed. What will happen when my unemployment benefits are used up? How will we pay for insurance?
I have been working since I was 15 years old. My first job was at the St. Thomas Sportsman's Club coaching softball to the young girls in the rural area in Derrynane Township. While in High School I worked summers at the Green Giant Factory to have enough money to buy my own clothes. Even through college I worked not only summers jobs, but I worked an on campus job, an off campus job and coached a basketball team at the now gone St. Kevin's Catholic School in Minneapolis. Aside from brief stints of unemployment and time off for health reasons or maternity leave - I have always had a job.
My first instinct during this time is to find a job as quickly as possible; to fill that gap, fill that void and fill the bank account. I am lucky to have a few weeks severance pay and outplacement services. Outplacement services are new to me. The process involves working with a career management professional who helps you adjust to the job separation and partners with you to prepare and launch a career search. The outplacement councilor has encouraged me to look to my next employment as a career move not a job to just pay the bills.
Really looking at my skills, abilities and wants to find that next thing that is meaningful to me and uses my talents is my next step.
Now to figure out what they are....
Fear, uncertainty, self doubt - it is all part of the package. An evening in tears may not be the "best" of me but it is the WHOLE package.
While I am not an advocate of airing everything publicly, I do try to be wary of how things "look" on social media and recognize that no one's life is perfect. I promised in this blog that I would be honest and I have been, but I also have portrayed the "best" of me during this time of transition. While trying to look to the positive and move on, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit to my self - doubt, anger, sadness, rejection, retaliation, and fear.
All of these emotions are normal and it is important to go through them. Just as I move through one emotion and think I have moved on, boom - there it is back again.
Sometimes an emotion can hit you out of nowhere. Yesterday my husband and I were bringing a load of coats and clothes to the local St. Vincent DePaul.
As we were dropping off our excess items I noticed it was pantry day - the day people pick up food for their family. Their were close to 20 people lined up outside in the bitter cold waiting to get their groceries for the week. I am not immune to a sight like this. I have helped at Dorthy Day, Sharing and Caring Hands and helped in various ways in giving to those in need. The difference then was that I was giving from a secure place of knowing I had a secure job and income. Now things felt uncertain.
Later that afternoon we went grocery shopping and as I was choosing the items off the shelf at the grocery store I couldn't get the image of these people in line for food out of my mind - then panic hit me. While we are not in any immediate financial need, the uncertainty of my situation came over me in a wave of fear. There but for the grace of God as they say... I suddenly started worrying about how long I might be unemployed. What will happen when my unemployment benefits are used up? How will we pay for insurance?
I have been working since I was 15 years old. My first job was at the St. Thomas Sportsman's Club coaching softball to the young girls in the rural area in Derrynane Township. While in High School I worked summers at the Green Giant Factory to have enough money to buy my own clothes. Even through college I worked not only summers jobs, but I worked an on campus job, an off campus job and coached a basketball team at the now gone St. Kevin's Catholic School in Minneapolis. Aside from brief stints of unemployment and time off for health reasons or maternity leave - I have always had a job.
My first instinct during this time is to find a job as quickly as possible; to fill that gap, fill that void and fill the bank account. I am lucky to have a few weeks severance pay and outplacement services. Outplacement services are new to me. The process involves working with a career management professional who helps you adjust to the job separation and partners with you to prepare and launch a career search. The outplacement councilor has encouraged me to look to my next employment as a career move not a job to just pay the bills.
Really looking at my skills, abilities and wants to find that next thing that is meaningful to me and uses my talents is my next step.
Now to figure out what they are....
Fear, uncertainty, self doubt - it is all part of the package. An evening in tears may not be the "best" of me but it is the WHOLE package.
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